Haroseth… breakfast of champions!

Also known as:  Charoset, Charoses, Haroset, Charoseth, Haroseth, Haroses.

This is one of the reasons why searching for Jewish recipes online is fun. I am going to use the ‘Haroseth’ spelling. It speaks to me.

Moving right along…

Two nights of Passover 2011 are now complete, and I am going to use the next few posts to share some of my favourite recipes and food ideas from this year’s dinners with you, starting with Haroseth.

But first, a shout out to my girl at the Oy of Cooking for her sublime brisket recipe.  Thank goodness there are leftovers!

When I woke up today, to a kitchen full of Passover reminders  (what AM I going to do with that huge plate of leftover Matzoh??)  I had one of those wonderful culinary ‘AHA!’ moments.  You know the ones.  And I just had to share it with you.

Haroseth… the breakfast of champions!

First our family Haroseth recipe. (best made 2 days ahead of consumption)

You will need the food processor for this. Funny… I never used one before meeting my husband, but now it seems indispensable.

Cook Like a Yenta Haroseth:

1 bag MacIntosh apples, peeled and cored

1 cup dates

2 cups walnut pieces

1-2 cups Manichewitz wine

1 T cinnamon

1 t ground ginger

1.  Process the peeled, cored apples in your food processor until quite coarsely chopped.  You may need to do this in stages depending on the size of your processor.  Reserve in a large bowl while you quickly deal with the other ingredients.  If you work fast, the apples will not brown

2.  Process walnut pieces into coarse meal, add to chopped apples

3.  Mix 1 cup of wine and spices together and pour into apple mixture. If it does not look wet enough, or is not sweet enough, add more wine.

4.  Cover and keep in fridge for 1-2 days to let flavours develop.  Voila.  Haroseth!

Serve with matzoh on Passover. (Or anytime, really, why not??)

Now here’s what came to me in my moment of inspiration this morning…

Three Haroseth Leftover Ideas:

1.  Prepare your favourite oatmeal.  (I like organic quick cut oats with nothing in them, microwaved with water for 1 minute 30 seconds… nothing could be simpler) Add 1/2 cup Haroseth and return to microwave.  (or add to your pot)  Warm through and serve.  Delish!  I am eating this as I type.  Seriously yummy!

2.  Pancakes, waffles, or crepes – Haroseth makes a wonderful addition to these breakfast faves.

3.  Greek yogurt and honey – like my favourite Starbucks parfait… 2/3 cup greek yogurt, 1/2 cup Haroseth, and a generous drizzle of honey.

Haroseth.  The cure for the common breakfast.

Enjoy!

Ever crave latkes on a Tuesday night?

Latkes.  Those potatoey, onioney, golden crisp rafts of loveliness.  Perfect for a generous dollop of sour cream, or use them as a platform for an entire meal.  They are worthy.

But what to do when Latkes ‘r’ Us is closed, you have half an hour till dinner needs to hit the table, and you really, really NEED some??  Simple.  Here’s a method to whip some up in a jiffy.

First off, keep that Cuisinart in the basement – no need for it today.  Save it for your high – volume Hannukah latke output next December.

Batter Equipment:  Box style grater, wooden spoon, tarnished silver implement (fork, spoon, whatever… it prevents the mix from browning before you cook it) and a sieve.

Ingredients:

Potatoes – 1 lb peeled baking type (russet is what I use), keep whole

Onions – 1 medium onion per lb of potato

Egg – 1 large

Matzo Meal – 1/4 – 1/2 cup

Salt – 1/2 tsp

Pepper – 1 generous grind

Optional:  Add chopped fresh herbs, dijon mustard, or split the potato mix – 2/3 baking with 1/3 sweet potato for something a little different.

Directions:

Preheat oven to 250F.

Grate potatoes and onions on large side of box grater (doing this under a vent hood will help save your eyes) and sprinkle with salt.  Mix with tarnished silver utensil and set aside for a few minutes while you so something else.

Now return to your mix of potato and onion, and you may notice some juices being shed, collecting in the bottom of the bowl.  Handful by handful, scoop the mix into the sieve and press it with the back of a wooden spoon against the sides of the sieve until most of the potato water has been pressed out.  Reserve the pressed potato onion mix in a separate bowl, and once all of the mix has been squeezed out, add the egg, pepper, and additional seasonings as desired.

The batter at this stage will be too wet to fry well, so sprinkle in some Matzo Meal until the mix resembles muffin batter.  You may need to add more as you fry, and more water is pulled out of the potatoes while the mix is standing by.

Heat enough oil (I use canola) to cover a non-stick frying pan with 1/4″ oil.  Being generous with the oil is important, as it is the oil that really creates that delicious crispy crust.  No one said this food was low cal…

Once the oil is almost smoking, use a large spoon or ice cream scoop to deposit roughly equally sized piles of batter in pan.  Large or small, it’s up to you.  Press the tops of the piles with a spatula until roughly 3/4″ high.

**Note – the higher sugar content of sweet potatoes will cause them to brown very fast.  Be careful not to burn them, and remove as soon as they are golden.  They can finish cooking in the oven

Fry latkes until golden on each side, and place on a parchment covered baking sheet in the oven while you finish.

Serve with sour cream, apple sauce, or a spicy chutney.  Latkes can be very simple, or a blank canvas – serving as a platorm for whatever culinary masterpiece you are inspired to create.  Some suggestions:

Substitute tiny latkes for blini with caviar and creme fraiche

Latkes can serve as a base for stacking – stack wilted spinach or sauteed vegetable mix and some braised beef on top (brisket perchance?!) and dress the plate with horseradish gravy (mix grated horseradish into defatted pan drippings and season and thicken to your liking)

Latke ‘pizzas’ – throw them under a broiler with a melting cheese (cheddar, swiss, raclette) and your favourite toppings until melted.  I like mushrooms, fresh sage, and havarti cheese.  Serve with soup.

Full Disclosure:  Latke making is fun, and ultimately very rewarding.  HOWEVER, your house may smell of latkes for 1-2 days post frying… so open the windows and for goodness sake, use your range hood!

Potluck at the Bergs

Oh no.  They have invited us over and I need to bring something.  What are the rules here?

Let’s see… I know they keep Kosher at home but I have it on good authority that Mr. Berg beat my hubby in an all you can eat ribs contest two years ago.  Hmmm…  are they looking to the token gentile to bring that irreverent plate of shrimp cocktail?  Shake things up a bit? 

Maybe I’ll bring wine.  Copout.

I make the call.  “We’re having dairy if that’s OK.” 

“Great!  What can I bring?”

“Oh… bring anything.  Really.  Just whatever you like… we’re trying to keep it simple.”

Simple.  Right. 

‘Dairy’ means fish.  It’s taken me a while to figure this system out but I think I’ve got the hang of it now. You can have dairy with fish, but you can’t have dairy with meat.  (poultry, beef, lamb, etc).  But, you can have fish with meat.  I think.  As long as there’s no dairy. 

Our Jewish friends all have different standards.  By my husband’s rules for example, Lobster is out of the question unless you are in a restaurant in Halifax, or I, his gentile wife, prepares it for a special occasion.  A cheeseburger is OK… never with a glass of milk.  Bacon is fine.  Confusing, I know.

Another friend of ours keeps Kosher at home but all bets are off the second he leaves the house.  He eats out, mostly.

Back to this potluck.  I will assume that the fish portion will be taken care of by the hostess.  What to bring, what to bring… Salad?  Kugel?!  How obnoxious would that be?  The only non-Jewish wife in the room brings a kugel.  Ha!  Sounds like a minefield I will steer clear of. 

Think I’ll leave my Arthur Schwartz schtick on the shelf and go with a salad. 

—

Blue Cheese, Pecan, and Pear Salad

2 Pears, ripe but not too ripe, preferably Bartlett

1 t butter

½ cup pecans halves, toasted briefly in oven

1 Head Boston Lettuce (butter lettuce)

1 Box Baby Arugula

1/3 cup crumbled blue cheese (preferably not French, for political reasons I don’t quite understand yet)

¼ cup olive oil

1 T Sherry Vinegar

1 t honey

½ t salt

Cut pears into six slices each.  Fry in a very small amount of butter in a non-stick pan on medium heat until caramelized on both sides and softened.   Let cool.

Wash lettuces and arrange nicely on a large, new, recyclable foil plate. I like to tear the Boston lettuce into large pieces and put around the perimeter, and pile the arugula in the centre. 

Once pears are cooled, add them to plate, then the crumbled blue cheese and pecans. 

Mix components of vinaigrette and bring separately in a new Tupperware container with a tight lid, ready to shake up and drizzle at the last moment.

—

This salad sends all the right messages.

First off,  it’s lack of crumbled bacon suggests that I know the rules and out of respect for the hostess, intend to follow them. 

Secondly, it is delicious and shows effort without being overly fussy. (Never outshine the hostess). 

Thirdly…  it will arrive nicely plated and the dressing, stored in a new Tupperware container I need not ever see again, ensures that my dish needs absolutely no further work in their kosher kitchen… minimizing my chances of messing anything up.  Using the wrong serving plate, for example.  That would be bad.  It could result in a dish having to be buried in the back yard for 10 years, which could be embarassing.  Hence my choice of a new, recyclable foil plate…  which again, shows the kind of respect for their way of life that will guarantee future dinner invitations for years to come.  

Oy vey.

My Ultimate Skor Chocolate Chip Cookie Recipe.

Well that came out of nowhere, didn’t it?

I have been channelling my inner yenta lately and have been taking baked goods wherever I go.  You know… I’m one of those people who, when they ask:  “anything I can bring?”… Instead of bringing nothing, as aked, or perhaps a bottle of wine, I bring something homemade too.  I have taken this a bit far now, and take home baking to almost all my business meetings.  Sales are way up!  

This recipe was inspired by Jeffrey Steingarten’s ‘Best Chocolate Cookie Recipe So Far’ from one of his books.  I can’t remember which one it was.  His basic argument was force as much butter into a cookie dough as possible.  He is so right.  I have tweaked the recipe to my family’s tastes, and add Skor bits from the bulk store for fun.

Ultimate Skor Chocolate Chip Cookie Recipe!

Ingredients

• 2 cups ap flour
• 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
• 1  lb salted butter
• 1 cup brown sugar (I use Demerara sugar) 
• 1 large egg yolk
• 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
• 1 cup chopped semi-sweet chocolate
• 1 cup toffee bits – sometimes called ‘Skor bits’ at the bulk store

 

Makes approx. 40 cookies.

 

-Preheat oven to 350 degrees.  Line baking sheets with parchment paper.

-Let butter come to room temperature, add to sugar and vanilla in a mixing bowl and mix until nicely creamed together and pale in colour

-Combine flour and baking soda in separate bowl.  Blend well with fork

-Add egg to the sugar and butter mix.  While mixing, add flour mixture and chocolate and toffee  bits

-Roll into balls the size of ping pong balls and space out on parchment lined cookie sheets.  Cookies will spread during baking.

-Bake  for 15 – 18 minutes or until cookie edges are crisp and the centres are still spongy and soft.  They won’t look done – but take them out now and let them cool on the sheets.

-This cookie should be a bit chewy.  If you want it crisp, leave them in the oven a bit longer. 

-Once cool, store in airtight container to maintain freshness. 

– This dough freezes well.  Roll into narrow logs and store wrapped in plastic and inserted into a paper towel roll to keep the shape… cut into rounds and bake these from frozen… an extra 2 minutes.

Enjoy!

What to do with your etrog… a week later.

Cocktails!!

The Blue Etrog Fizz (if it’s served in a sherry glass)… or Etrogtini (martini glass):

 

Recipe:

1 oz Vodka

1/2 oz Blue Curacao

250 ml  of soda water or San Pellegrino.  You can substitute lemonade for a sweeter cocktail.

Squeeze of etrog juice – not as easy as it sounds.  Not much juice in an etrog.

1 Slice etrog – for garnish.

Combine all ingredients in a shaker with ice and pour into martini glass.  Garnish with etrog slice. 

Enjoy!

Jewish is cool. Yiddish is cool. A guy just wrote a book about it. But Yartzeit candles??

So last night, on my way to my Stitch and B**ch (knitting class) I stopped at a cool new local cafe for a quick bite.   Ordered, got my food, sat at a table and noticed THIS:

 

I know, it’s kind of hard to see. 

That candle, nestled next to the hot sauce, is a Yartzeit candle.   To those who may not know, in the Jewish faith these candles are used on  the anniversary of a person’s death as a rememberance and they burn from sundown to the next morning.  The restaurant was burning them  throughout the restaurant to cast a beautiful glow. 

I struggled with the situation I now found myself in.  I remembered when I had my first apartment with roommates,  it was cool to buy these really tall candles in glass jars that had religious figures on them…. kitchy images of Jesus or one of the many Hindu gods.  There was even a  spell removal candle for the wiccans in your life.  You could buy these at dollar stores in a certain area of town.  You probably still can.  But I digress.

The long lasting nature of the Yartzeit  candles was not lost on the owner of the restaurant.  I felt compelled to ask him if he was aware of the significance of them, and he somewhat sheepishly said: “Yes, I know… when we moved in there was a case of them in the basement.  Like a hundred!!!  We tried to peel the labels off bu t it’s really hard.  But they are so great… they burn forever!”

I am that thinking donating these to the local synagogue and buying some, oh I don’t know… tealight candles might be a better choice.

Oh – and the guy who wrote the book about Yiddish being cool?  Michael Wex:  http://michaelwex.com/

The Etrog Adventure

Do I have a story for YOU!

As you know I have been on a bit of a scavenger hunt for an etrog.  Somewhat misguided some might say, but I enjoy these little challenges.  Call me crazy.

My very proper waspy mother, when she first sat at the table with my in-laws, whispered to me:  “This is like a Woody Allen movie!!” 

Well mom, you should have seen me today.

First I made a lame attempt and went to the city’s largest fruit market.  In a city such as mine, where there is a large Jewish population, I would have thought that I might find my etrog at one of the specialty fruit vendors.  Not so much.

So I drove to the Jewish neighborhood and parked my car.  All around me were stores that I had never had any reason to go into.  Except of course to get a dozen of the best bagels on earth! 

Now this neighborhood is a blend of the ‘Ultra’ Orthadox, Orthadox, and Conservative Jewish population.  Walking around, not really knowing what I was looking for, I saw a sign!!

Now this was promising!  I walked into this Judaica shop and was welcomed by the young lady behind the counter.  Hello!  She said.  The owner of the shop echoed her welcome but the other customers kept their distance.  I could almost hear them thinking:  “What is this person doing here??”

I felt like I needed a story.  Not the true one about my Cook like a Yenta project, but one that made my etrog quest one worthy of their time.  With the whole store staring at me, I panicked.   Forgot about the story.  Blurted out:   “I am looking for an etrog!” 

Silence.

“You see, I am invited to a friend’s Sukkah this weekend and I thought I might bring them something nice.  And I heard about this fruit, so I thought maybe I could give them one as a gift!” 

The owner of the shop smiled in a most understanding way and said:  “I see.  They are upstairs.” 

Up I went.  At the top, there was a small room with many beautifully bound texts and a very studious gentleman with two young men with him, standing around a table of boxes.  Uh oh.  No other customers.  No other non-Jewish people looking for etrogs.  I was completely out of my depth. 

“How can I help you?”  The gentleman asked.  I repeated my story with a bit more flourish and he looked concerned. 

“It is strange to bring an etrog – most homes have one already before they invite people over.  But here, have a look.”

Look at what?  I am thinking.  All I see are boxes with hebrew writing and pictures on them.  He opened one.  “How about this?”

Success!!  I found an etrog.  I was so proud of myself.  “That will be perfect, thank you.”  He turned the box over to show the price.  ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY DOLLARS. 

FOR A FRUIT.

Where am I?  Japan?

I apologized, said I didn’t know they were so expensive.  He took this opportunity to facilitate a learning moment as much for the young boys as for me.  I learned many things about the significance of this etrog.  That the Tree of Knowledge was an etrog tree.  That God intended for all trees to be etrog trees.  I joked that with our winters they might not survive here.  I don’t think he found that funny.

Down the stairs I went and the owner asked me if I had found my etrog.  I explained my predicament, that I could not afford an etrog, and he suggested I visit the ‘cheaper’ Judaica store down the street.  What a guy.

So off to the less expensive store I go.  No big Sukkah Depot signs here.  Nope.  Just a lot of texts and menorahs and, well, Judaica. 

“Can I help you?”  asks the man behind the counter.  This time I had a better story. 

“I am a freelance journalist (sort of true) doing a piece on this fruit….”

“Aha!!  The ETROG!!”  he exclaimed.  Seriously.  I am not overstating his reaction.

He led me to the back room where there were three ladies assembling Sukkah kits that included palm fronds, etrogs, and some branches I couldn’t identify.  And look… right there on the counter… the fruit of knowledge.  A whole bunch of them. 

He picked one up.  “Would you like to hold it?”  he asked.  Clearly, he shared my enthusiasm. 

As lovely as his etrogs were, I still could not afford the $60 price tag.  I noticed a box by his feet of some etrogs that for whatever reason were not good enough to sell.  Perhaps he would let me buy one for a lower price?

He said no.  That he had to return them to ‘his guy’.  The etrog broker, I assume.   I thanked him for his time.

Just as I was about to leave, he changed his mind.   “Pick one.” 

I did.  And for the low, low, price of $10 is was mine to take home.  It had lost the little knobby bit at the top but was otherwise perfect.

Success!

Now, what am I going to do with this thing?

In search of a local, seasonal, organic etrog.

So dear readers, guess what?  I am driving my husband crazy with all this talk of cooking ‘Jewish’.   He even told me so.  Never has he been forced to give the subject this much thought and the more he thinks about it – the more he wants sushi.  Sure, it was cute and interesting at first, but I feel he may have reached his limit.

Tonight after our Yom Kippur dinner at his sister’s house, he gave a very definitive ‘NO!’ to the idea of having the guys over from hockey to build a Sukkah.  Sukkot, a celebration of the great outdoors and the harvest celebration.  Where the men build a four sided structure that we sleep in and eat in for a whole week.  Sounds fun, no? 

Apparently no. 

“BUT,” I insisted, “We can  do it the easy way.  Let’s put up one of our camping tents and enjoy a picnic inside it to get a bit of the flavour of the thing”.  He left the room. 

Seeking to woo him back with lots of exciting Sukkot recipes, I did some preliminary digging in my copy of Judaism for Dummies.  Hmmm… not much talk of food here for a harvest festival.  Some mention of nuts and sweet things and wine… but wait!  What’s this?  An etrog!  That’s a ‘citron’… apparently similar to a large lemon.   I must have one! 

Since Sukkot begins on October 3, coincidentally the same day we are celebrating with 70 of our closest friends at our house (just got married) my next mission will be to  go on an etrog hunt and try to incorporate some into the evening somehow.  Hey, it’s a start.  Wonder if anyone will notice.  Maybe an etrog sorbet or etrog punch will be exciting.

The etrog. Kinda like a lemon, but not.

OK.  So I conceded defeat on Sukkot – but watch out – Simchat Torah is coming!!!  That’s the holiday where the Jewish people finish reading the Torah, celebrate, and start reading it all over again.  October 10.  The same weekend as Thanksgiving.  I am sure I can rustle up something fabulous for that. 

Until then, it’s all about etrogs.

Second Helpings? Oh no, I couldn’t possibly.

One of the cookbooks I picked up on my mission to learn to cook traditional Jewish foods was “Second Helpings Please”.  It’s plastic, coil bound spine held promise of many great meals to come.  I bought it at a Judaica shop while my husband and I were trying to purchase a new menorah for our table last December.  Flipping through it, it seemed like a version of The Joy of Cooking.  The man behind the counter assured me that “every good wife must have this.”  Well.  Never one to back down from a challenge, I bought one.

On the first page of this book, I am reassured that this edition includes the ever popular ‘One Helping Please’.  Now, I am not too excited about cooking recipes that people can only stand one helping of, so I’m just going to skip that section.  As well as Microwave Basics. 

‘Second Helpings Please’ is a book that has been around a while, it would appear, and it has a rich history.  The first printing was in 1968.  The book is sold to raise funds for Jewish Women International and their very worthy projects.  It’s a good thing.  Could use some updating.  Here are some random recipes I found flipping through:

Chinese Chicken Livers with Unhatched Eggs.  Now this recipe could have it’s place in the French Laundry cookbook, judging by the title.  What on earth is an unhatched egg?  I assume all eggs are unhatched, by definition, no? 

To make this dish, you basically fry the livers, add cooked eggs, dry garlic spare rib sauce (a sauce intended for pork, go figure) and brown sugar to the pan.  It is recommended as an hors d’oevres… serve with toothpicks.  (obviously)

Mama’s Pitcha  This one’s a doozy.  Knee bones (I assume beef, though no animal species is specified) Boiled with onions, carrots, and garlic for 4 hours.  Strain, chop up the meaty bits that fell off the knees, chill, and set.  Mmmmmm…. pitcha.

 

I shouldn’t make fun.  I am sure that someone, somewhere will write in to tell me that I don’t know what I am missing and that unhatched eggs and homemade gelatin are the highlights of their family meals.  That I couldn’t possibly understand how delicious this food is because I wasn’t raised with it and I am not Jewish.  Fair enough. 

Perhaps we can hold out hope that in the next printing of this book, they might include some modern recipes.  That people such as myself might actually want to eat.

Here’s a recipe for a salad I served at Rosh Hashannah.  I have received two requests from guests so far for the recipe and there was none left at the end of the night.  Here it is, ladies!

 

 Grilled Vegetable Salad with Caper Dressing

2 red peppers

2 red onions

2 zucchini (green or yellow)

1 pint cherry tomatoes

Mixed greens for the plate

2 T Capers

1/4 cup olive oil

1 T sherry vinegar

1 t Dijon mustard (smooth)

Generous pinch of salt, Fresh ground pepper.

1.  Fry the capers in a small amount of oil until they pop!  (careful… don’t get splashed)  Set aside to cool.

2.  Slice the peppers, onions, and zucchini and toss in oil.  Grill on the bbq on ‘medium’ until nicely marked.  Remove and let cool.

3.  Cover a flat serving dish with mixed greens, and spread grilled, cooled veggies on top.  Scatter cherry tomatoes around the salad.

4.  Whisk remaining olive oil with vinegar, mustard, capers, salt, and pepper.  Drizzle over salad.

Enjoy!

A new year, and some old recipes.

As I planned my Rosh Hashannah menu, I toyed with the idea of updating traditional recipes to better reflect current tastes.  One person I spoke to about this very notion had the nerve to suggest that I cook two versions of everything – one conventional, the other avant garde, and present it in a tasting menu format. 

Riight.  Like I have that kind of time.

I was of two minds.  On one hand, it is both reassuring as a cook, and soothing as an eater, to enjoy traditional foods in the way in which they were originally intended.  Food that has not been spoiled by the pretentious addition of lemongrass.  Or shiso leaves.  Or truffle oil.  But on the flip side, what’s wrong with adding a modern twist to traditional fare?  Is there something to be gained, apart from the obvious entertainment value, by the creation of a square Matzah ‘ball’? 

I would love to hear your comments, gentle reader, as Yom Kippur is on the horizon and there is another menu to plan.  

Perhaps an elliptical Matzah ball is the answer.

Shana Tova is pronounced…

‘Shanatova.’ not ‘Shanna Tova’.  Just for future reference.  And while we’re on the topic, ‘matzah’  (sometimes ‘motzoh’ on the cracker boxes) is not pronounced Mottsa, but Muttza.  Now you know. 

Now that we have that straight, I have an apology to make. 

Arthur Schwartz, I am sorry I doubted you.

Jewish Home Cooking by Arthur Schwartz

 While your five strand chullah braiding diagram left me mystified, and the preparation of the Shlishkes (I called them gnocchi in my previous posts) was labour intensive,  I must admit that you hit it out of the ball park with this one!  What started out looking like a mess of packing peanuts left out in the rain ended up looking like this:

 

So thank you, Arthur!  Of course when I unveiled them at the table and announced “the Schlishkes are ready!” no one knew what the heck I was talking about.  So I pulled out your book and we all shared a learning moment.  They were delicious.  Schmaltzy, crispy, potatoey goodness. 

I served the shlishkes with smoked brisket, which I cooked in my smoker to ‘medium’.  Now I understand this was a courageous choice because typically, I am told, the brisket has a texture roughly equal to shoe leather and is cooked grey.  Horseradish on the side and some pickled peppers (just hacked your pickled beets recipe Arthur, they turned out great) half sours and full sours, and pickled onions.  

The cous cous salad, a completely ad-libbed recipe (using random ingredients I happened to have on hand) was a triumph!  I cooked the cous cous with a vegetable stock and stirred in some sauteed onions and mushrooms.  Then I diced a butternut squash and fried it in a little olive oil, salt and pepper, and steamed it for a couple of minutes.  Here’s the final result:

Cous Cous Salad with Butternut Squash

 Now my dad called this ‘ball bearing salad’.  Very funny, dad. 

 

This chullah could hurt someone…

I kind of glossed over the entire chullah episode in yesterday’s post, because, well… it was a very hectic day at my house.  But I wanted to give you something and not leave you hanging ALL day with no news from me.  My last ‘photos only’ post was lame.  Sorry readers.  I showed you all the chullah glamour shots using tricky angles and great lighting (ha!) and did not tell the whole truth.  My bad.  Here it is:

My sister in law thought I was nuts when I told her I was making the chullah from scratch.  CRAZY.  But, I have to say -and it was not smooth sailing as you will see later – I am glad I tried it!  The most important thing was that it was edible.  And our guests were all really nice about it.

The chullah started out on a very promising note.  OK, so I forgot to half (halve?) the recipe.  The result was that the dough kept flopping out of the bowl on Kitchen Aid mixer on the knead cycle with a naughty ‘slap!  slap!  slap!’ sound… providing much entertainment for the kids.   I gotta say though, that dough looked beautiful turned out on the marble counter.  Just gorgeous.  Divided it into 4 loaves worth.  Formed the dough balls, let them rise.  They did.  A bit.  Then divided each ball into 4 mini balls for the ‘ropes’ to braid the chullah.  No worries.  Let those rest a bit…. hmmm… they aren’t getting much bigger.  Rolled them into equally long pieces, not as easy as it sounds… and let those rise.  They looked a little sad.  But let’s soldier on!   Braided the loaves with an innovative 4 strand system (could NOT figure out Arthur Schwartz’s 5 strand diagram for the life of me), egg wash, into the warmed oven with a pot of hot water, wait 30 minutes,  and voila!

It's a little flat. Nice shine though!

 Not exactly what I was hoping for.  I cranked the oven to 375, convect setting and popped two of these shiny little chullah losers (I’m still a bit sensitive about them) into the oven.  I went off to do a thousand other things that needed to be done to prepare for the dinner, and 20 minutes later they were ready!

 

Nice colour and shine, shame about the, um, flatness.

These chullah were serious.  Dense.  Heavy.  We could have varnished them and used them as doorstops.   But where’s the fun in that?  Onto the table they went.

Well… it’s been a busy morning.

Nothing like the smell of charcoal at 7am...

 

D'oh! I made wayyy too much of this!! Enough for 4 giant loaves.

 

They aren't exactly round... (or symmetrical) but they'll do.

 

Now THIS looks pretty convincing...

It’s going to be OK!  Meat is in and in 8 hours… perfection.

I hope.

Mmmmmmmm... meat!

Kreplach. Are they supposed to be this big?

 

Just askin’.  Cause they grew.  More than I thought they would.  I am wondering how I am supposed to fit one of these suckers in the bowls I have with a matzah ball, and noodles.  Maybe I will have to cut them in half.  On the up side, I did try one of the more grotesque looking specimens and it tasted great! 

You know, no one’s going to have any appetite left after eating this soup.  Maybe I can get away with just a salad to go with it.  I know, I know… I’ve come this far.  Too far to give up now!

The stock is now done.  So that’s two things down.  Oh, and I boiled the gnocchi:

 

They do look a titch gluey, don’t they.  I am quite sure I didn’t overcook them… and they will be fried in breadcrumbs and schmaltz tomorrow and held in an oven for a while.  so I am hoping that the gluey bits around the edges get crispy when I fry them, and any undercooking will be corrected in the oven.  Here’s hoping.  Right now they look a little like soggy packing peanuts. 

I only have another hour to go before I have to leave the house for the rest of the afternoon.  Everything else will have to wait until tomorrow. 

It’ll be fine, right?

I’m firing up that smoker at 7am.

Full. On. Panic. Mode.

So I awoke this morning feeling pretty good.  Until I realized… this dinner is TOMORROW and I have not started the following:

The chicken stock.

The Cous Cous salad

The stuff in the freezer that is still raw (kreplach and gnocchi)

Matzah balls.  And I still need to figure out the ‘meal’ thing…

Pie

Shopping for everything else I need.  Including the arts and crafts supplies for the kids that are coming…

Charcoal!  I need charcoal for the smoker!!!

On and on and on… 

Anyone else ever wake up in a panic like this?  So, thinking I was still going to make it to the office today I started the stock at 6am.  Said to lovely step daughter:  “Honey, you will be home for lunch today, right?  Can you please turn off the burner on this stock pot?”  Negative.  The only day this week she does not come home from school.   Of course.  Perfect.

So I did the only reasonable thing I could do.

“It’s kind of like a scratchy throat combined with a bit of a fever… I really don’t think I should come in.”

Briskets are Big.

You know, you can’t get a brisket just anywhere.  And I should preface this post by saying that I don’t look Jewish.  Not even a little bit.  You know how you can kinda tell sometimes??  Well…

The Jewish butcher raised an eyebrow and asked:  “Brisket?  Really?  A big one?”

“22 people.  Is that big?”

“It’s a big one.”

Out comes this cryo vac’d brisket that seemed to cover his entire counter.  “You gotta car?” he asks. 

Did I ever!  Even a cooler in the trunk.  Only, this brisket was not going to fit in my cooler.  No way.  And I wasn’t going to be home for hours.  “Can you cut it in half for me?”

He frowned, shrugged, and said:  “It’s not as nice.” 

A bit embarassed, I thought fast, nodded, and explained that it would fit in my smoker easier this way.  “Smoker?” A smile spread across his face.  “What time are you eating?  I’ll be there!”

My knife is an 8" chef's knife... that's one BIG brisket!!

 

Now.  I got this thing home (actually two things now) and had to decide how to marinate it.  So, I consult my trusty Jewish cookbook collection, and some online sources, and read about all kinds of concoctions.  Some notable ingredients:  onion soup mix, ketchup, teriyaki sauce, and that good old standby, liquid smoke.  But, since I was going to smoke this baby anyway, I decided to forgo the fake stuff and made a simple rub of:

2/3 cups brown sugar, 1 T kosher (of course!) salt, 1 t garlic powder, 1 t onion powder, 2 t paprika, and a healthy dose of freshly ground pepper.  Into some extra large ziploc bags and off to the fridge. 

While shopping for brisket I started to get nervous about the kreplach.  After all, last night was the first time I made them and what if the pasta dough I made was too thick?  It was a little thick, wasn’t it.  I should have taken the pasta machine down to 6… not stopped at 5… hmm…. they might be doughy and inedible.  Even worse, my geometry was a bit wonky and they didn’t end up looking like neat little triangles with the filling in the centre, more like misshapen gyoza dumplings made after a bit too much Sake.  Better have some backup matzah balls at the ready.  Only I remember our box of matzah meal is way stale.  And opened.  Better buy more. 

Guess what??  It’s really hard to find matzah meal in a predominantly non-Jewish area the day before Rosh Hashannah.  Really hard.  But I trip over some whole matzah crackers at my local cheesemonger (what’s he doing with those?) and buy a box each of ‘whole wheat’ and ‘regular’, figuring I will just blend the two together in the cuisinart.  That makes matzah meal, right?  It should.  That would be logical.

Tomorrow will be busy.  A full day at the office, day one of the New Year celebration, and we will be eating at my sister – in – law’s.  I know for a fact she’s not making chullah from scratch.  HA! 

Wait.  Should I be worried?

Welcome!

A Yenta (or Yentah) is defined in the Urban Dictionary as:

Yiddish – Meddler, gossiper, meddlesome, busybody, nuisance. Mostly Judaic and female.

 

Usage:

Those three Yentas keep trying to set me up with their grandsons.

 

In my experience, they also make a killer Matzah Ball soup, know their way around a brisket blindfolded, and can singlehandedly feed an army.  (sometimes with no electrical power!) 

 

This summer I married the most wonderful man in the world. He’s Jewish.  (Reform, maybe even Secular Humanist, according to Judaism for Dummies)  He has never kept a Kosher kitchen and I was raised a lapsed Anglican.  Having said that, keeping Jewish traditions alive is important to him, and there are holidays and traditions we look forward celebrating as a family:  Rosh Hashannah, Yom Kippur, Hannukah, Passover…  and I am the girl who throws parties.   

 

Me:  “Hey honey, Patrick Swayze just passed away and I think we should celebrate his life … let’s have some people over and have a Dirty Dancing themed memorial!!   You and me, we can practice that lift thing in the back yard till we get it right!” 

 

Him:  “Sweetie.  If it’s that important to you, OK.  No one puts baby in the corner.”

 

Now I’m the kind of girl who wants to do something right, or not at all.  So with the Rosh Hashannah (Jewish new year) coming up fast, we sent out some invites and I started planning what any good host provides… the food.  

 

Now.  I have thrown my share of dinner parties.  I love to cook.  It’s like my favourite hobby.  EVER.  I knew from attending some of my husband’s family events over the past couple of years that I had a challenge ahead of me… but I really did not realize the amount of work involved – and the thought that must go into a meal that is ‘kosher style’.  This is going to be a challenge.  It’s on Saturday.  Here’s the menu:

 

Chicken Soup with Egg Noodles and Beef Kreplach (homemade)

Chullah (homemade!  Ack!)

Smoked Brisket (smoked by yours truly)

Jewish ‘Gnocchi’ tossed in Schmaltz and Breadcrumbs (mmmm… schmaltz)

Israeli Cous Cous Salad with Grilled Summer Squash

Mixed Green Salad with Caper Vinaigrette

Green Beans Almondine

Mixed Sours

 

Dessert:

Honey and Apples

Fruit Sorbet

Mixed Fruit Salad

Apple Pie (veg shortening crust)

 

Here’s where I am at.  Kreplach are made and in the freezer, uncooked.  Jewish ‘Gnocchi’ are in the freezer, uncooked.  Schmaltz is rendered, honey and apples purchased.  I have in hand a reliable chullah recipe… what could go wrong? 

 

…to be continued…